The Entire Adventure Part 61
One night, sitting in that basement room in a comfie chair with my feet kicked up on my comfie
bed, re-reading (for the millionth time) Tender Heart, trying to edit what I had already edited
(about a million times), the most amazing thing happened. And this, just to remind you, is not
fiction. This is non-fiction in every possible way. I was reading the part about Chris and Erin
soaking in the Rocky Mountain hot-spring pool. Just sitting there, reading. Chris and Erin soaking
and talking. And then the owl hooted. Chris's eyes opened wide. "Hear that?" she said.
"Owl?"
"So cool."
Erin smiled.
"Heard a great gray the other night."
"Great gray?"
"Rare bird."
"What'd he sound like?"
"Now, Rin, it could've been a she . . ."
"Okay, what'd she sound like?"
"Cool."
Erin let out a laugh.
The owl hooted again. Chris jerked her chin up, listening.
"What kind?" Erin whispered.
"Great horned."
"What. Are all owls great?"
Chris grinned. "Yep."
And a great horned owl, sitting in a tree right beside the house where I lived in the basement,
hooted. Loud. Right at that moment. Just as Chris said, "Yep."
I kid you not.
Imagine the look on my face. I didn't actually see the look on my own face, but I can imagine it. I
bet my eyes were round as basketballs.
Definite hoots of a great horned owl.
I jumped out of the chair, tossed my manuscript on the bed, and ran outside.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 62
I know a thing or two about owls. I know they're the most amazing creatures I've ever seen. Well,
okay, one of the most amazing. There are a boatload of amazing creatures out there! : )
Spotted owls are my favorite. But you already knew that, huh. (If not, check out the pix in my
Entire Adventure gallery.)
That night, I hurried outside in the darkness and waited for another hoot. And he didn't
disappoint. I knew he was a he, because a second after he hooted, his mate hooted too. Female
owls have a higher-pitched hoot than males. It's positively awesome when there's a pair in the
same tree hooting at each other. What a treat.
That's exactly what I heard that night. In a tree not far from the house, a pair of great horned owls
hooted at each other. For at least five minutes. That's a long time. An extra special treat.
I remember standing there listening, laughing and crying, trembling and absitively blown away by
the wonder of it. By the absitively amazing love and grace of my absitively amazing Father.
I mean . . . wow.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 63
Not long after that . . .
Friday night after work—heading for Chris's (from Tillamook). Car's acting up. Will stall if . . .
stalls in the intersection of Highways 22 and 99W (the busiest intersection on the entire trip). At
rush hour. In the passing lane. Won't start. I push it into the left-hand turn land and sit there.
What next? Two seconds later. Look up and see a man to my left in the crosswalk. Figure he's
just waiting to cross—a pedestrian. Nope. He and his buddy were sitting there in their big van,
and they both ran out to help push me off the road. And they "just so happened" to have a cell
phone (remember, this is 1999, when more than a few people in the world still didn't have one
yet). Chris was there in twenty minutes to help me get home. True story.
And . . .
Just so happens . . . wobbling tire. Not good. Well, no wonder! Separated down to the steel!
And a screw too! $50-75 for a new tire? Don't have it. Don't worry! $25. "We just so happen to
have a used tire that would fit," the man at Les Schwab says. Yep.
And . . .
March 25th, 1999
The days have been flying by. They say time goes faster when you get older. Maybe so, but
when all you do is work and sleep, the days are bound to go fast.
Too fast. I'm being passed by. Time to do something. What? Haven't a clue. What's next?
Proceed ahead? Continue the status-quo? Quit? Sleep?
TRUST.
What do You want, Lord?
TRUST.
Can I do that?
Why not?
Will You help me?
Absolutely.
There's a lot coming up that I'm not sure about . . .
Trust Me.
Okay.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 64
It's Easter, 1999. (Well, no it isn't, but pretend it is.) : )
It's been an awesome day.
. . . Whatever happens—I'm in my Father's hands. I belong to Him, and I'm going to trust Him.
There's no other way. Nothing else in this entire world is as important as that one simple
thing. To trust. To obey. Two simple things. How simple? Well, why do I have to make it
hard? I've been given everything I'll ever need to complete the tasks—do I have to make it
hard?
Come, Lord Jesus. Welcome to my world. Put all You are inside me. May my will be lost in
Yours. May I be lost in You.
Saturday night, July 11th, 1999.
Three years. Probably close to $5000. And still we wait. I'm about to start my 16th job in 18
years. Give or take a year or two. Or a job or two. I'm thrilled. End of story?
Monday night, November 8th, 1999.
It's my 27th New-Birth-day today. (November 8th, 1972, is when I asked Jesus to be my Savior.
I was seven.) That's longer than anything. Amazing.
I want to drag this out—to write about all sorts of things, but I can't.
So I won't.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 65
November 8th, 1999.
I've created two separate worlds. Invented four people that I've grown to love. Now, here in
the "real" world, I miss them. I miss going to their worlds, sitting in on their private
conversations, being there, with them . . .
Please.
Yep, I miss them. They're my friends. Pretty funny, huh. So what am I supposed to do when I
hear the Pink Panther theme? (One of Stacie's crew members brought his saxaphone to work and
played that for her.) Or a Moody Blues song? (Three of their songs I worked into the story when
Stacie was recovering in the hospital.) Should I toss it all in the (toilet? Though the word I
actually used in my journal was a bit stronger.)
Interesting question.
Wish I could answer it.
Maybe I don't have to.
Maybe I should.
Ahh . . . who knows.
I can hear the surf roaring. It's supposed to storm tonight. My feet are cold.
I'm in apartment 3 now. Two doors down from my old place. Three years ago. What an
interesting three years it's been. But I'm back. Wow, I'm glad I'm here.
If there's any one place in the entire world for me to be a complete loser, it's here. I can sort of
disappear here. A part of me feels like it's home.
Every Wednesday at work, I get hugs from Melsie.
Makes up for it all.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 66
You're back? I'm glad. But I'd understand if you bailed on me.
Good stuff lately, huh. Uplifting. : ) Well, the truth is, it was a long four years. The absolute best
of times and absolute worst of times. Up and down, back and forth. Inside and out.
Well, still. It was an awesome time.
I mean, who would have ever thought that awesome time would lead to . . . today? Right now I'm
facing another one of those moments: a delightful cacophony of conundrumous proportions. I've
just sent out a boatload of Wounded Healers. Warrior's Heart typeset galleys are on my desk.
Valiant Hope's revisions are due in a matter of days. I'm getting ready to leave for CBA.
(Formally known as CBA.) Schwhew.
Now I see why I'm a card-carrying member of the Schwhew Crew. Hey, y'all!! : ) (I'm also now
a card-carrying member of the Yada Yada Sisters. Woo-hoo! Hey, y'all too!!) (Oh, and hey to
OCW, and ACFW, and PEN, and WIN, and . . .)
Maybe we should get on with our story.
Here's what I wrote at the end of that journal entry on November 8th, 1999.
Yeah, I'm a little miffed. Lost in Limbo Land. It's hard to believe anything right now. Not only
am I messed up right now, but I was and have been messed up since the beginning. What a
strange three years it's been.
Reading back through the stuff I wrote in June 1996 is embarrassing!! And to think I knew what
I was doing! Every single word, every single scene had a purpose! Was purposely put into
place! What a joke. Talk about naive. Talk about arrogant.
So, here we are.
Where are we?
Oh, yeah. Standing over the (toilet). Do we toss and flush?
Not yet. Maybe someday . . .
What really matters most?
It's my 27th Re-Birth-day today. And I'm 34 years old. Yet I'm still an infant.
Go figure.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 67
I'm usually not one for keeping journals. I never kept them growing up. This one particular
journal is it: from my Air Force days going through to that day in May 2000. May 25th, 2000. The
day that will live in infamy for me.
I guess you're ready to go to that place with me. I've told you just about everything I can think of to
tell you. Why did I take all my stuff to that fire ring at East Devils Lake State Park in Lincoln City,
Oregon, on May 25th, 2000? Looking back, three reasons definitely stand out. I already
mentioned them, but I'll quickly mention them again.
1.) Trapped On Deception was messed up from day one. I had written a "dead" novel—one that
had no hope of being marketed because I had blown my target audience. I had written a young
adult novel for an adult audience. Fatal blunder.
2.) I didn't want to write or read romances. The market was not ready for anything not "romance-
based." The relationships between my female characters—though purposely reflecting true
friendship—was too intimate for the market. Fine. Bad timing for me. The market would change.
I just wouldn't be around to see it.
3.) Dee Henderson. The Negotiator. I mean, hey. If this lady was going to write more of this
type of good stuff, why did I need to? She could write a bazillion times better than I could ever
hope to write. So I'd let her. And finally enjoy reading Christian fiction. My pitifully narrow
taste had been catered to. I didn't need to write anymore. Not if someone else could write the
stories I wanted to read. Even if they did have a touch of romance in them.
So. Yes. May 25th, 2000. A fire ring just a few feet away from the parking lot at the beautiful
East Devils Lake State Park. A bottle of lighter fluid. Bags full of stuff. A box of matches. And a
new day on the horizon.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 68
May 25th, 2000.
It's all gone.
Discs, hand-written copies, research, other ideas, Kimberley Square starts, Jessie At Western,
computer, laser printer, the library of novels, Sally's market guides, Penelope's how-to guide,
Gilbert's how-to guide, Sally's how-to guide, dictionaries, thesauruses, notes from numerous
OCW conferences, copies of e-mails, autographed copies, misplaced hopes, arrogant
dreams . . . all gone.
East Devils Lake State Park.
The last tiny ember winked at me as I left. The smoke smelled almost sweet. It had just started
to rain.
Took about twenty minutes to burn it all. It's all gone.
All the money, all the people, all the hours spent . . . history. All that's left are the friends, the
two books on my shelf, and the memories. Good and bad. It was love-hate. Best and worst.
And now it's all over and done.
Good.
It's been fun, Lord.
What's next?
When all that I've got left is You, You are enough.
Thank You, Lord Jesus. Thank You.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 69
All right, all right. I can hear you saying, "You didn't burn your computer, did you? Your
printer?" Well, no. But I did burn everything else that could burn.
"You didn't burn your manuscripts! You'd be crazy to burn them!"
Well, I never said I wasn't a bit crazy, but no. I didn't burn my stories. They were for me, and
went on my shelf in May 2000 strictly for me. I made smaller copies—small enough to fit into a
small three-ring binder, made them single-spaced and shaped like a real book. Then put them
away.
"You burnt your autographed novels?"
Well . . . no. I tore out the page where the author signed her book and put that page in my
scrapbook. Then I sold the book to a used bookstore.
I can see your mouth gaping.
Yes, I hate to admit it, but I sold everything I could and made some money from it. Everything I
couldn't sell and would burn, I burned. Anything I couldn't sell or burn, I smashed and ruined
before tossing it into the dumpster.
Needless to say, on May 26th, 2000, I had a lot more room in my apartment!
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 70
You know? Sharing all this with you has been fun. I hope it's been fun for you too. When I
received the Writer of the Year award at this year's Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference,
I had to laugh a bit at the irony. I'm still laughing. Not that I don't appreciate the award; I do. But
I know it is this story I'm telling right now that gave the committee reason to even consider me for
the award. It's this story, not my novel or writing ability, that caught their attention. It's this
story—the story of God's amazing faithfulness in my life, that earned that award. It's His award,
just as Wounded Healer is His. And I am His. And you too.
We're His. What a cool thing to be!! What else would we want to be? I'll be Yours, Lord,
forever. There's no place I'd rather be. No other person I'd rather be with. Let's go together,
Lord, and do and be just what You want. Do and be in me. Continue! Woo-hoo! What a ride.
Oh, but the story's not over, of course. Those flames were not the end, but the beginning! Well,
let's not get all dramatic. They were the middle. Not an end, but a step. Yeah. Something like
that.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 71
Deep breath. Long, deep sigh. The smoke still lingered on my clothes that day. Such a nice
smell. You know what I mean? Campfire smoke. Reminds one of making smores. Or telling
ghost stories with family and friends at the end of a fun day.
No, smelling campfire smoke doesn't take me back to that day. And the smoke on my clothes that
day didn't make me sad. You see, that's probably the most amazing thing about everything. I didn't
take everything that had anything to do with the four years I'd spent writing to the fire ring because
I was "giving up." I was not in dire despair that day. I didn't even shed a tear. My heart thumped,
yes, as if it was going to burst out my chest. But it was a good thump. A "looking ahead" thump.
No sadness. No "ashes of despair." (But that's okay, Steve. A normal person would have been
crazy to do what I did. That should tell you something about me.) ; )
Anyway, no. No deep, dark depression. No excessive misery. (Hah! Remember that from Hee-
Haw?) Oh, my. Where did that come from??!!!???!!!!!
Never mind.
Anyway . . .
Yes. Just an ending. Before a new beginning. I was laying my writing down. Just putting it away.
Forever. Leaving it behind. Moving on. Yeah.
But one thng you do need to realize: as the last ember flickered out and everything I had hoped to
accomplish with my writing lay in ashes, I had no intention of ever picking it back up again. It
needed to be gone. That's why I needed to burn it. I was ready to move on to the next phase or
chapter of my life. No more writing. No more going to conferences. Yes, I'd read a novel from
time to time. Nevada Barr would be cranking out Anna Pigeon Mysteries. Dee Henderson would
be writing great stuff to feed my need to read.
That would be enough.
Oh, and I still had my two creations on my shelf.
I was still a novelist. I would always be a novelist.
Just . . . retired.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 72
For three years I stayed retired. Just lived, worked, enjoyed life, and grew. Funny how that
happens when we least expect it. I grew as a person (obviously), grew around the middle a bit
too, but I also grew as a believer, a truster and follower of Jesus Christ. Very cool. It's amazing
what happens in our lives when we give them completely to Him. And keep them in His hands.
And trust Him.
In November 2002, I took a ride on a little boat. Well, a Carnival Cruise ship. The Sensation.
Heard Margaret Becker sing and speak as that ship rode the rolling waves of the Caribbean. In
January 2003, I sent for Gayle Erwin's complete library of messages to savor. Ahh . . . live was
good. Margaret Becker and Gayle Erwin. Two of my favorite people. Margaret's music has
sustained me since Sacred Fire back in 1987. Gayle Erwin's teachings have fed and nurtured me
since the Oregon Christian Writers Conference in 1998. Funny, as I look back on everything that's
happened since April 2nd, 2004, I can honestly say that except for the stories, of course, the most
wonderful thing I carried out of those four years of writing, re-writing, submitting, and being
rejected, was meeting and hearing Gayle Erwin. He (yes, he's a he) teaches about Jesus. The
Nature of Jesus. And God the Father. And the Holy Spirit. He's got one string on his guitar, and
he plays beautiful music. Foundation stone stuff. My foundation stone. Thank you so much,
Gayle! I love you, brother.
Oh, and thank you too, Margaret. You have six and sometimes twelve strings on your guitar. And
your music? Oh yeah. Just what the Lord ordered. For me. I love you, sister.
And hey. I love all of you out there too. Thanks so much for sharing my adventure. My prayer is
that my story and the stories I've given life to will be used by the Father to reach that exact place
where He knows you need to be reached. Are you a writer? Maybe you need to simply be
reminded about His timing and perfect plan. Maybe we all need to be constantly reminded of just
how big He is. And how much He loves us.
We love You, Lord. Thank You.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part . . .
. . . well, so, this isn't exactly a continuation of the adventure. Because today I start out on a new
adventure!
Well, it's that day. It's July 1st, the start of the 4th of July weekend, the start of a huge trip for me
that'll take me to Florence, Eugene, Salem, Portland, Boise, Salt Lake, and Denver. And bring me
back, Lord willing, around the 18th of July. Should be a fun trip. My first taste of CBA. For
those of you who know what I mean . . . you know. : ) For those of you who don't, I'll tell you all
about it when I get home. Cuz the truth is, I don't really know either. But I'm about to be schooled!
I'm dreading the thought of taking two weeks off from the blog. Things were just getting exciting!
Well, truth is (and I'm telling a lot of truth today), that we've just about run the Entire Adventure
into my Mount Hermon Adventures. Guess it's just all one big adventure. : )
Which brings us back to today. July 1st. Today I officially become a published author. Wounded
Healer officially hits the shelves.
Wow.
Seriously.
I mean . . . wow!!!
: )
The Lord is good! May He bless and keep us all in His loving arms. He's big enough to carry us
all! May His face shine upon us and may He give us His peace. Especially all of us hitting the
road this weekend.
Love you all. Thanks for sharing my adventures with me.
Vaya con Dios,
donna
One night, sitting in that basement room in a comfie chair with my feet kicked up on my comfie
bed, re-reading (for the millionth time) Tender Heart, trying to edit what I had already edited
(about a million times), the most amazing thing happened. And this, just to remind you, is not
fiction. This is non-fiction in every possible way. I was reading the part about Chris and Erin
soaking in the Rocky Mountain hot-spring pool. Just sitting there, reading. Chris and Erin soaking
and talking. And then the owl hooted. Chris's eyes opened wide. "Hear that?" she said.
"Owl?"
"So cool."
Erin smiled.
"Heard a great gray the other night."
"Great gray?"
"Rare bird."
"What'd he sound like?"
"Now, Rin, it could've been a she . . ."
"Okay, what'd she sound like?"
"Cool."
Erin let out a laugh.
The owl hooted again. Chris jerked her chin up, listening.
"What kind?" Erin whispered.
"Great horned."
"What. Are all owls great?"
Chris grinned. "Yep."
And a great horned owl, sitting in a tree right beside the house where I lived in the basement,
hooted. Loud. Right at that moment. Just as Chris said, "Yep."
I kid you not.
Imagine the look on my face. I didn't actually see the look on my own face, but I can imagine it. I
bet my eyes were round as basketballs.
Definite hoots of a great horned owl.
I jumped out of the chair, tossed my manuscript on the bed, and ran outside.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 62
I know a thing or two about owls. I know they're the most amazing creatures I've ever seen. Well,
okay, one of the most amazing. There are a boatload of amazing creatures out there! : )
Spotted owls are my favorite. But you already knew that, huh. (If not, check out the pix in my
Entire Adventure gallery.)
That night, I hurried outside in the darkness and waited for another hoot. And he didn't
disappoint. I knew he was a he, because a second after he hooted, his mate hooted too. Female
owls have a higher-pitched hoot than males. It's positively awesome when there's a pair in the
same tree hooting at each other. What a treat.
That's exactly what I heard that night. In a tree not far from the house, a pair of great horned owls
hooted at each other. For at least five minutes. That's a long time. An extra special treat.
I remember standing there listening, laughing and crying, trembling and absitively blown away by
the wonder of it. By the absitively amazing love and grace of my absitively amazing Father.
I mean . . . wow.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 63
Not long after that . . .
Friday night after work—heading for Chris's (from Tillamook). Car's acting up. Will stall if . . .
stalls in the intersection of Highways 22 and 99W (the busiest intersection on the entire trip). At
rush hour. In the passing lane. Won't start. I push it into the left-hand turn land and sit there.
What next? Two seconds later. Look up and see a man to my left in the crosswalk. Figure he's
just waiting to cross—a pedestrian. Nope. He and his buddy were sitting there in their big van,
and they both ran out to help push me off the road. And they "just so happened" to have a cell
phone (remember, this is 1999, when more than a few people in the world still didn't have one
yet). Chris was there in twenty minutes to help me get home. True story.
And . . .
Just so happens . . . wobbling tire. Not good. Well, no wonder! Separated down to the steel!
And a screw too! $50-75 for a new tire? Don't have it. Don't worry! $25. "We just so happen to
have a used tire that would fit," the man at Les Schwab says. Yep.
And . . .
March 25th, 1999
The days have been flying by. They say time goes faster when you get older. Maybe so, but
when all you do is work and sleep, the days are bound to go fast.
Too fast. I'm being passed by. Time to do something. What? Haven't a clue. What's next?
Proceed ahead? Continue the status-quo? Quit? Sleep?
TRUST.
What do You want, Lord?
TRUST.
Can I do that?
Why not?
Will You help me?
Absolutely.
There's a lot coming up that I'm not sure about . . .
Trust Me.
Okay.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 64
It's Easter, 1999. (Well, no it isn't, but pretend it is.) : )
It's been an awesome day.
. . . Whatever happens—I'm in my Father's hands. I belong to Him, and I'm going to trust Him.
There's no other way. Nothing else in this entire world is as important as that one simple
thing. To trust. To obey. Two simple things. How simple? Well, why do I have to make it
hard? I've been given everything I'll ever need to complete the tasks—do I have to make it
hard?
Come, Lord Jesus. Welcome to my world. Put all You are inside me. May my will be lost in
Yours. May I be lost in You.
Saturday night, July 11th, 1999.
Three years. Probably close to $5000. And still we wait. I'm about to start my 16th job in 18
years. Give or take a year or two. Or a job or two. I'm thrilled. End of story?
Monday night, November 8th, 1999.
It's my 27th New-Birth-day today. (November 8th, 1972, is when I asked Jesus to be my Savior.
I was seven.) That's longer than anything. Amazing.
I want to drag this out—to write about all sorts of things, but I can't.
So I won't.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 65
November 8th, 1999.
I've created two separate worlds. Invented four people that I've grown to love. Now, here in
the "real" world, I miss them. I miss going to their worlds, sitting in on their private
conversations, being there, with them . . .
Please.
Yep, I miss them. They're my friends. Pretty funny, huh. So what am I supposed to do when I
hear the Pink Panther theme? (One of Stacie's crew members brought his saxaphone to work and
played that for her.) Or a Moody Blues song? (Three of their songs I worked into the story when
Stacie was recovering in the hospital.) Should I toss it all in the (toilet? Though the word I
actually used in my journal was a bit stronger.)
Interesting question.
Wish I could answer it.
Maybe I don't have to.
Maybe I should.
Ahh . . . who knows.
I can hear the surf roaring. It's supposed to storm tonight. My feet are cold.
I'm in apartment 3 now. Two doors down from my old place. Three years ago. What an
interesting three years it's been. But I'm back. Wow, I'm glad I'm here.
If there's any one place in the entire world for me to be a complete loser, it's here. I can sort of
disappear here. A part of me feels like it's home.
Every Wednesday at work, I get hugs from Melsie.
Makes up for it all.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 66
You're back? I'm glad. But I'd understand if you bailed on me.
Good stuff lately, huh. Uplifting. : ) Well, the truth is, it was a long four years. The absolute best
of times and absolute worst of times. Up and down, back and forth. Inside and out.
Well, still. It was an awesome time.
I mean, who would have ever thought that awesome time would lead to . . . today? Right now I'm
facing another one of those moments: a delightful cacophony of conundrumous proportions. I've
just sent out a boatload of Wounded Healers. Warrior's Heart typeset galleys are on my desk.
Valiant Hope's revisions are due in a matter of days. I'm getting ready to leave for CBA.
(Formally known as CBA.) Schwhew.
Now I see why I'm a card-carrying member of the Schwhew Crew. Hey, y'all!! : ) (I'm also now
a card-carrying member of the Yada Yada Sisters. Woo-hoo! Hey, y'all too!!) (Oh, and hey to
OCW, and ACFW, and PEN, and WIN, and . . .)
Maybe we should get on with our story.
Here's what I wrote at the end of that journal entry on November 8th, 1999.
Yeah, I'm a little miffed. Lost in Limbo Land. It's hard to believe anything right now. Not only
am I messed up right now, but I was and have been messed up since the beginning. What a
strange three years it's been.
Reading back through the stuff I wrote in June 1996 is embarrassing!! And to think I knew what
I was doing! Every single word, every single scene had a purpose! Was purposely put into
place! What a joke. Talk about naive. Talk about arrogant.
So, here we are.
Where are we?
Oh, yeah. Standing over the (toilet). Do we toss and flush?
Not yet. Maybe someday . . .
What really matters most?
It's my 27th Re-Birth-day today. And I'm 34 years old. Yet I'm still an infant.
Go figure.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 67
I'm usually not one for keeping journals. I never kept them growing up. This one particular
journal is it: from my Air Force days going through to that day in May 2000. May 25th, 2000. The
day that will live in infamy for me.
I guess you're ready to go to that place with me. I've told you just about everything I can think of to
tell you. Why did I take all my stuff to that fire ring at East Devils Lake State Park in Lincoln City,
Oregon, on May 25th, 2000? Looking back, three reasons definitely stand out. I already
mentioned them, but I'll quickly mention them again.
1.) Trapped On Deception was messed up from day one. I had written a "dead" novel—one that
had no hope of being marketed because I had blown my target audience. I had written a young
adult novel for an adult audience. Fatal blunder.
2.) I didn't want to write or read romances. The market was not ready for anything not "romance-
based." The relationships between my female characters—though purposely reflecting true
friendship—was too intimate for the market. Fine. Bad timing for me. The market would change.
I just wouldn't be around to see it.
3.) Dee Henderson. The Negotiator. I mean, hey. If this lady was going to write more of this
type of good stuff, why did I need to? She could write a bazillion times better than I could ever
hope to write. So I'd let her. And finally enjoy reading Christian fiction. My pitifully narrow
taste had been catered to. I didn't need to write anymore. Not if someone else could write the
stories I wanted to read. Even if they did have a touch of romance in them.
So. Yes. May 25th, 2000. A fire ring just a few feet away from the parking lot at the beautiful
East Devils Lake State Park. A bottle of lighter fluid. Bags full of stuff. A box of matches. And a
new day on the horizon.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 68
May 25th, 2000.
It's all gone.
Discs, hand-written copies, research, other ideas, Kimberley Square starts, Jessie At Western,
computer, laser printer, the library of novels, Sally's market guides, Penelope's how-to guide,
Gilbert's how-to guide, Sally's how-to guide, dictionaries, thesauruses, notes from numerous
OCW conferences, copies of e-mails, autographed copies, misplaced hopes, arrogant
dreams . . . all gone.
East Devils Lake State Park.
The last tiny ember winked at me as I left. The smoke smelled almost sweet. It had just started
to rain.
Took about twenty minutes to burn it all. It's all gone.
All the money, all the people, all the hours spent . . . history. All that's left are the friends, the
two books on my shelf, and the memories. Good and bad. It was love-hate. Best and worst.
And now it's all over and done.
Good.
It's been fun, Lord.
What's next?
When all that I've got left is You, You are enough.
Thank You, Lord Jesus. Thank You.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 69
All right, all right. I can hear you saying, "You didn't burn your computer, did you? Your
printer?" Well, no. But I did burn everything else that could burn.
"You didn't burn your manuscripts! You'd be crazy to burn them!"
Well, I never said I wasn't a bit crazy, but no. I didn't burn my stories. They were for me, and
went on my shelf in May 2000 strictly for me. I made smaller copies—small enough to fit into a
small three-ring binder, made them single-spaced and shaped like a real book. Then put them
away.
"You burnt your autographed novels?"
Well . . . no. I tore out the page where the author signed her book and put that page in my
scrapbook. Then I sold the book to a used bookstore.
I can see your mouth gaping.
Yes, I hate to admit it, but I sold everything I could and made some money from it. Everything I
couldn't sell and would burn, I burned. Anything I couldn't sell or burn, I smashed and ruined
before tossing it into the dumpster.
Needless to say, on May 26th, 2000, I had a lot more room in my apartment!
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 70
You know? Sharing all this with you has been fun. I hope it's been fun for you too. When I
received the Writer of the Year award at this year's Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference,
I had to laugh a bit at the irony. I'm still laughing. Not that I don't appreciate the award; I do. But
I know it is this story I'm telling right now that gave the committee reason to even consider me for
the award. It's this story, not my novel or writing ability, that caught their attention. It's this
story—the story of God's amazing faithfulness in my life, that earned that award. It's His award,
just as Wounded Healer is His. And I am His. And you too.
We're His. What a cool thing to be!! What else would we want to be? I'll be Yours, Lord,
forever. There's no place I'd rather be. No other person I'd rather be with. Let's go together,
Lord, and do and be just what You want. Do and be in me. Continue! Woo-hoo! What a ride.
Oh, but the story's not over, of course. Those flames were not the end, but the beginning! Well,
let's not get all dramatic. They were the middle. Not an end, but a step. Yeah. Something like
that.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 71
Deep breath. Long, deep sigh. The smoke still lingered on my clothes that day. Such a nice
smell. You know what I mean? Campfire smoke. Reminds one of making smores. Or telling
ghost stories with family and friends at the end of a fun day.
No, smelling campfire smoke doesn't take me back to that day. And the smoke on my clothes that
day didn't make me sad. You see, that's probably the most amazing thing about everything. I didn't
take everything that had anything to do with the four years I'd spent writing to the fire ring because
I was "giving up." I was not in dire despair that day. I didn't even shed a tear. My heart thumped,
yes, as if it was going to burst out my chest. But it was a good thump. A "looking ahead" thump.
No sadness. No "ashes of despair." (But that's okay, Steve. A normal person would have been
crazy to do what I did. That should tell you something about me.) ; )
Anyway, no. No deep, dark depression. No excessive misery. (Hah! Remember that from Hee-
Haw?) Oh, my. Where did that come from??!!!???!!!!!
Never mind.
Anyway . . .
Yes. Just an ending. Before a new beginning. I was laying my writing down. Just putting it away.
Forever. Leaving it behind. Moving on. Yeah.
But one thng you do need to realize: as the last ember flickered out and everything I had hoped to
accomplish with my writing lay in ashes, I had no intention of ever picking it back up again. It
needed to be gone. That's why I needed to burn it. I was ready to move on to the next phase or
chapter of my life. No more writing. No more going to conferences. Yes, I'd read a novel from
time to time. Nevada Barr would be cranking out Anna Pigeon Mysteries. Dee Henderson would
be writing great stuff to feed my need to read.
That would be enough.
Oh, and I still had my two creations on my shelf.
I was still a novelist. I would always be a novelist.
Just . . . retired.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part 72
For three years I stayed retired. Just lived, worked, enjoyed life, and grew. Funny how that
happens when we least expect it. I grew as a person (obviously), grew around the middle a bit
too, but I also grew as a believer, a truster and follower of Jesus Christ. Very cool. It's amazing
what happens in our lives when we give them completely to Him. And keep them in His hands.
And trust Him.
In November 2002, I took a ride on a little boat. Well, a Carnival Cruise ship. The Sensation.
Heard Margaret Becker sing and speak as that ship rode the rolling waves of the Caribbean. In
January 2003, I sent for Gayle Erwin's complete library of messages to savor. Ahh . . . live was
good. Margaret Becker and Gayle Erwin. Two of my favorite people. Margaret's music has
sustained me since Sacred Fire back in 1987. Gayle Erwin's teachings have fed and nurtured me
since the Oregon Christian Writers Conference in 1998. Funny, as I look back on everything that's
happened since April 2nd, 2004, I can honestly say that except for the stories, of course, the most
wonderful thing I carried out of those four years of writing, re-writing, submitting, and being
rejected, was meeting and hearing Gayle Erwin. He (yes, he's a he) teaches about Jesus. The
Nature of Jesus. And God the Father. And the Holy Spirit. He's got one string on his guitar, and
he plays beautiful music. Foundation stone stuff. My foundation stone. Thank you so much,
Gayle! I love you, brother.
Oh, and thank you too, Margaret. You have six and sometimes twelve strings on your guitar. And
your music? Oh yeah. Just what the Lord ordered. For me. I love you, sister.
And hey. I love all of you out there too. Thanks so much for sharing my adventure. My prayer is
that my story and the stories I've given life to will be used by the Father to reach that exact place
where He knows you need to be reached. Are you a writer? Maybe you need to simply be
reminded about His timing and perfect plan. Maybe we all need to be constantly reminded of just
how big He is. And how much He loves us.
We love You, Lord. Thank You.
To be continued . . .
The Entire Adventure Part . . .
. . . well, so, this isn't exactly a continuation of the adventure. Because today I start out on a new
adventure!
Well, it's that day. It's July 1st, the start of the 4th of July weekend, the start of a huge trip for me
that'll take me to Florence, Eugene, Salem, Portland, Boise, Salt Lake, and Denver. And bring me
back, Lord willing, around the 18th of July. Should be a fun trip. My first taste of CBA. For
those of you who know what I mean . . . you know. : ) For those of you who don't, I'll tell you all
about it when I get home. Cuz the truth is, I don't really know either. But I'm about to be schooled!
I'm dreading the thought of taking two weeks off from the blog. Things were just getting exciting!
Well, truth is (and I'm telling a lot of truth today), that we've just about run the Entire Adventure
into my Mount Hermon Adventures. Guess it's just all one big adventure. : )
Which brings us back to today. July 1st. Today I officially become a published author. Wounded
Healer officially hits the shelves.
Wow.
Seriously.
I mean . . . wow!!!
: )
The Lord is good! May He bless and keep us all in His loving arms. He's big enough to carry us
all! May His face shine upon us and may He give us His peace. Especially all of us hitting the
road this weekend.
Love you all. Thanks for sharing my adventures with me.
Vaya con Dios,
donna
| page six of my entire adventure |
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| My Entire Adventure Transferred from my blog, various posts dated from April 2nd to July 1st, 2005. © 2005 Donna A. Fleisher |