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| From my blog (that has since gone the way of the dinosaur). A post dated September 12th, 2005. |
Wondering . . .
This is the post I've hidden away in my Drafts folder since August 30th, when I wrote it. Maybe I
should have hit Delete then, instead of sending it to the Drafts. Maybe I should be hitting Delete
now instead of posting it to my blog.
I'll let you decide. Here it is:
August 30th, 2005.
In this entire process—from the first inkling of wanting to write a story in July 1996, to starting
my editing business in September 2003, to the whirlwind turn of my life on April 2nd, 2004, to
this moment, right now—I've been wondering. Or is it . . . wandering?
It's been two years. Seems like every two years I have to rethink my present circumstance. But I
like the oft-quoted line: "Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien said that. Not that I know
who J.R.R. Tolkien is or have read any of his stuff. My editor, Karen Ball, put that on her new
website. That's the only way I knew Mr. Tolkien said it.
Which may prove part of the point of this post.
If there is any point.
I've been staring at the blinking cursor for a while, wondering if I should write this—what I'm
about to write. It's still not too late to change my mind. I can logout quicker than a sneeze and be
off-line and out the door in a heartbeat. So why am I still writing?
Zondervan has offered me another three-book deal. I could say, "my publisher," and at least
attempt to keep this fuzzy and distant. But hey. If any of you know me and have read my stuff so
far, you know who my publisher is. So let's just say it. It's Zondervan.
And they only want one of those three books to be in the Homeland Heroes Series.
They didn't actually say this information was confidential, but, then again, I don't think it's a secret
or anything.
Anyway. They want me to write another three books, but only one more in the present series
about Chris McIntyre and Erin Mathis. Four books for them, and that's it. (Book Two releases
next month, Three in May 2006, and Four, then, would probably release January 2007.) If there is
a Book Four.
Ahh. The point of this post. Finally. Let's get on with it.
Here's what I'm wondering about. What would happen if I did not sign the next contract? What
would happen in Christian Fictiondom if Donna Fleisher said, "No, thanks," to one of the biggest
publishers in all of Christian Fictiondom?
Would anyone even care?
We know how unpublished writers clamor for any publishing house to notice them and their work.
Most of us have been or are those writers. I was one. Positively. But now, here I am,
wondering if the best course of action for me concerning Zondervan's newest offer is to say, "No.
But thank you very much."
See, that's the truth. I'm so grateful, humbled, honored, amazed, overwhelmed, and overjoyed that
they'd want to offer me another three books. You better believe I am. Yes, I'm a bit miffed they
only want one more to be in the current series, but that's okay. I guess. What miffs me the most is
that they are willing to sign a contract with me on the simple assurance that I'll be able to come up
with another new series with all new characters by the not-so-distant deadline stated in the
contract. Talk about taking a risk. They obviously don't know me that well. Not enough to
realize how huge the risk is that they're willing to take . . . or else they wouldn't be taking it.
I don't want Chris McIntyre's story to end at four books. But, the truth is, it can end quite nicely
after the third book. The way Valiant Hope ends, it can end the entire series. Either way,
whether there are three books in her story or thirty-three, she'll live happily ever after. It's nine
years after her story, and she still bugs me, nagging about how hard it is to be married with
children and how lucky I am to still be single and lazy and . . . though she wouldn't trade her life
in 2005 for anything. : )
Ramble, ramble, ramble. Thinking out loud in a blog is dangerous.
So. Let's get to the point. Right now, an opportunity has arisen for me to do something that will
not only bring in a paycheck, but will, more than any job I can imagine, literally allow the love of
Jesus Christ to pour out of me. I would be a caregiver for a beautiful young woman who is
developmentally disabled. I would able to make a happy living loving someone. I mean, wow.
How much better could life get?
Or, when I come back from my trip, I could sign Zondervan's contract and immediately get to
work writing the fourth book in Chris and Erin's story. At this point, I have no idea how the story
will play out. I'll probably spend all of November and December writing. I'll turn it in by the
middle of January . . . then turn my thoughts and prayers toward the "new series." And, I'm
laughing now, I can honestly say I have absitively no idea how that will go. Oh, yes, I do know
all I have to do is quiet my heart and mind and let my God pour His story through me. That's how
it is with me. In that vein, I'm not a writer. I'm a transcriptionist. Totally.
I guess, even though I'm miffed, this is what calms me and tells me not to worry. God is soooo in
control. And if God has another set of stories in mind that He can pour out through me, most
positively I'll be signing that contract and Zondervan will get their new series. If not, the gig's
up. Chris and Erin's story will end after Valiant Hope, and so be it. I'll be Melsie's caregiver
and friend, I'll still keep up my freelance editing work, I'll still go to conferences and enjoy
schmoozing with my writer friends and Christian brothers and sisters, and I'll still write. Well,
maybe. We'll see.
You see, it has never been about the writing. Or about being a writer.
Not since that first inkling.
It's been about the story.
One thing's for sure. I have always allowed myself to wonder during this process. But I have
stubbornly refused to worry about any of it. That's been my oft-quoted line. And I'm not gonna
stray from that now.
So. Much rambling today. Much ado about nothing. But I guess, since I'm about to hit SAVE and
post this post to my blog, I'm writing this because I'd like to know what you all think. I know just
considering not signing a contract seems ludicrous. Like I'm posturing or arrogant or suckin' on
sour grapes. I mean, how can I even consider not signing a contract? But yet, here I am,
considering it. Praying about it. Wondering . . .
Another fun day in paradise.
VcD,
donna
This is the post I've hidden away in my Drafts folder since August 30th, when I wrote it. Maybe I
should have hit Delete then, instead of sending it to the Drafts. Maybe I should be hitting Delete
now instead of posting it to my blog.
I'll let you decide. Here it is:
August 30th, 2005.
In this entire process—from the first inkling of wanting to write a story in July 1996, to starting
my editing business in September 2003, to the whirlwind turn of my life on April 2nd, 2004, to
this moment, right now—I've been wondering. Or is it . . . wandering?
It's been two years. Seems like every two years I have to rethink my present circumstance. But I
like the oft-quoted line: "Not all who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien said that. Not that I know
who J.R.R. Tolkien is or have read any of his stuff. My editor, Karen Ball, put that on her new
website. That's the only way I knew Mr. Tolkien said it.
Which may prove part of the point of this post.
If there is any point.
I've been staring at the blinking cursor for a while, wondering if I should write this—what I'm
about to write. It's still not too late to change my mind. I can logout quicker than a sneeze and be
off-line and out the door in a heartbeat. So why am I still writing?
Zondervan has offered me another three-book deal. I could say, "my publisher," and at least
attempt to keep this fuzzy and distant. But hey. If any of you know me and have read my stuff so
far, you know who my publisher is. So let's just say it. It's Zondervan.
And they only want one of those three books to be in the Homeland Heroes Series.
They didn't actually say this information was confidential, but, then again, I don't think it's a secret
or anything.
Anyway. They want me to write another three books, but only one more in the present series
about Chris McIntyre and Erin Mathis. Four books for them, and that's it. (Book Two releases
next month, Three in May 2006, and Four, then, would probably release January 2007.) If there is
a Book Four.
Ahh. The point of this post. Finally. Let's get on with it.
Here's what I'm wondering about. What would happen if I did not sign the next contract? What
would happen in Christian Fictiondom if Donna Fleisher said, "No, thanks," to one of the biggest
publishers in all of Christian Fictiondom?
Would anyone even care?
We know how unpublished writers clamor for any publishing house to notice them and their work.
Most of us have been or are those writers. I was one. Positively. But now, here I am,
wondering if the best course of action for me concerning Zondervan's newest offer is to say, "No.
But thank you very much."
See, that's the truth. I'm so grateful, humbled, honored, amazed, overwhelmed, and overjoyed that
they'd want to offer me another three books. You better believe I am. Yes, I'm a bit miffed they
only want one more to be in the current series, but that's okay. I guess. What miffs me the most is
that they are willing to sign a contract with me on the simple assurance that I'll be able to come up
with another new series with all new characters by the not-so-distant deadline stated in the
contract. Talk about taking a risk. They obviously don't know me that well. Not enough to
realize how huge the risk is that they're willing to take . . . or else they wouldn't be taking it.
I don't want Chris McIntyre's story to end at four books. But, the truth is, it can end quite nicely
after the third book. The way Valiant Hope ends, it can end the entire series. Either way,
whether there are three books in her story or thirty-three, she'll live happily ever after. It's nine
years after her story, and she still bugs me, nagging about how hard it is to be married with
children and how lucky I am to still be single and lazy and . . . though she wouldn't trade her life
in 2005 for anything. : )
Ramble, ramble, ramble. Thinking out loud in a blog is dangerous.
So. Let's get to the point. Right now, an opportunity has arisen for me to do something that will
not only bring in a paycheck, but will, more than any job I can imagine, literally allow the love of
Jesus Christ to pour out of me. I would be a caregiver for a beautiful young woman who is
developmentally disabled. I would able to make a happy living loving someone. I mean, wow.
How much better could life get?
Or, when I come back from my trip, I could sign Zondervan's contract and immediately get to
work writing the fourth book in Chris and Erin's story. At this point, I have no idea how the story
will play out. I'll probably spend all of November and December writing. I'll turn it in by the
middle of January . . . then turn my thoughts and prayers toward the "new series." And, I'm
laughing now, I can honestly say I have absitively no idea how that will go. Oh, yes, I do know
all I have to do is quiet my heart and mind and let my God pour His story through me. That's how
it is with me. In that vein, I'm not a writer. I'm a transcriptionist. Totally.
I guess, even though I'm miffed, this is what calms me and tells me not to worry. God is soooo in
control. And if God has another set of stories in mind that He can pour out through me, most
positively I'll be signing that contract and Zondervan will get their new series. If not, the gig's
up. Chris and Erin's story will end after Valiant Hope, and so be it. I'll be Melsie's caregiver
and friend, I'll still keep up my freelance editing work, I'll still go to conferences and enjoy
schmoozing with my writer friends and Christian brothers and sisters, and I'll still write. Well,
maybe. We'll see.
You see, it has never been about the writing. Or about being a writer.
Not since that first inkling.
It's been about the story.
One thing's for sure. I have always allowed myself to wonder during this process. But I have
stubbornly refused to worry about any of it. That's been my oft-quoted line. And I'm not gonna
stray from that now.
So. Much rambling today. Much ado about nothing. But I guess, since I'm about to hit SAVE and
post this post to my blog, I'm writing this because I'd like to know what you all think. I know just
considering not signing a contract seems ludicrous. Like I'm posturing or arrogant or suckin' on
sour grapes. I mean, how can I even consider not signing a contract? But yet, here I am,
considering it. Praying about it. Wondering . . .
Another fun day in paradise.
VcD,
donna
| Wondering Rumination Transferred from my blog, a post dated September 12th, 2005. © 2005 Donna A. Fleisher |